Jimmy Savile - An Update

Doctor Pon has not published anything for almost a year, as he has been the lead researcher in a project to determine whether dogs can look up or not (provisional conclusion is that they can, but this result is subject to peer-review and correction etc)

Anyway, a friend contacted Doctor Pon to say that probably he should comment on Jimmy Savile, because of the recent news.

Doctor Pon does not follow the news. Doctor Pon is the news.

Also, as Doctor Pon does not follow the news, he doesn't know why a comment on Jimmy Savile would be appropriate, and there is no possible way of finding out before publishing this post, because today Doctor Pon wants to try mixing coffee and nutella to make a delicious hazelnut-chocolate coffee.

So here is what Doctor Pon has to say (note to underling intern: please edit as appropriate)

Obviously I was surprised to find out about Jimmy Savile's past, as most people were, but it does seem apparent with hindsight. However, we should not be too keen to jump to conclusions, and should allow the police (and army if necessary) to conclude the investigation(s).

The fact that Jimmy Savile had been dead for many years before his second death was announced is confusing for a man of science (note to intern - please find a man of science to check this) who did not think this was possible.

But the explanation that the frightening looking, groaning old man was actually a zombie makes much more sense now. 

RIP Jimmy Saville

Jimmy Saville died recently, and that caused Doctor Pon much sadness.
When Doctor Pon heard the news, he was very sad. Sometimes when Doctor Pon thinks about Jimmy Saville, he is still sad.
Below is a time line of when Doctor Pon thinks he was the saddest:

Now    Then    Now    Then    Now    Then

Jimmy Saville did a lot of good work in his life, but if he had not been on tv, and you met him in a pub, you'd be suspicious.

Some facts, all definitely true:

He was the first man to use two turntables and a microphone.

He was a professional wrestler.

He got a starred first from Oxford in Politics, Philosophy, and Economics

He invented the toaster.

There is a small plastic model of him in a spirit house in Southern Thailand.

He could spin on his head.

Jim once 'fixed' an enemy of mine.

Once he knocked out Bob the builder for trying to muscle in on the 'fix it' gig.

He was good friends with Jon Bon Jovi, and recorded backing vocals on Blaze of Glory.

His real name was Jimul Ficksit.

He used to say he hated kids so people wouldn't accuse him of being a paedophile.

He taught Michael Jackson how to moon walk.

He taught Peter Jackson how to make films.

He taught Jack Johnson how to play one song on a guitar and keep repeating it and pretending it's a different song.

He hated pandas.

He painted hamsters.

He was the first man to tell the joke about the guy going to the library to get the book called 'how to commit suicide' and being told by the librarian that he couldn't borrow it as he wouldn't bring it back.

He began the Prachinburi river dolphin hoax.



Doctor Pon hopes you have enjoyed these facts.

Researched by Jason Bourne.