Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Bum Games

Doctor Pon understands tech-nol-o-gy very well, and even has his own Face book page (one page does not really constitute a book, so Doctor Pon calls it his Face page)
While looking at his Face page Doctor Pon received an odd request from someone:

Hi Doc Pon,

My name's Jenni. I'm a hot 22 year old from Miami. Wanna play bum games with me?

Check out my website:

(address removed on advice of boring lawyer from boring USA because of boring legal issues)

Doctor Pon contacted Jenni with the following reply.

Dear Jenni,

Thank you for contacting me.

I am interested in playing the aforementioned 'bum games' with you as it may be an interesting socio-economic experiment.

From casual observation only, I would suggest that in England, the homeless ('bums') rarely seem to play games at all, so I don't really know what the rules of a 'bum' game might be.

Does fighting count as a game? If so, I have in fact seen a few bum games taking place, but never participated.

If this is the bum game you wish to play, I don't think it would be fair, as aside from being the most cleverest man what I know, I also use to box during my time at Oxford.

I was quite the rough customer, I can tell you.

As you a young female who evidently suffers from the the effects of the heat in Miami (or else why would you be hot?), I don't think it would be a fair bout.

I wonder, are you yourself homeless?

If so, perhaps you would be better off saving money to stay in a shelter, rather than spending time and money maintaining a website and inviting a Doctor from England to come to play bum games with you.

Incidentally, I looked at the website and I think you must have sent me the wrong link, as it was all pornography. There was nothing about recreational activities amongst the homeless at all.

I look forward to your reply,

Doctor Pon

So far, Doctor Pon has received no reply, but he has been contacted by an African prince who has had to flee his country, and has carefully selected Doctor Pon to look after several million dollars for him until his case is heard at the International Court of Human Rights. After this, the money will be shared 60-40. If it was 50-50, Doctor Pon would be suspicious of a scam, but 60-40 seems reasonable.