Friday, 19 March 2010

List of Toss-pots

One of Doctor Pon's friends working at the University of (EDIT) __________ has compiled a list of people who are ranked at least toss-pots.
The research had a sample size of 14,392 and was carried out by surveying UK citizens over the age of 18. Participants were asked to rate 50 people on a 9 point scale:

1 - Sound
2 - Safe
3 - Steady
4 - Alright
5 - Pixie
6 - Nimrod
7 - Drongo
8 - Toss pot
9 - Massive bell-end

Below is part of the list of people who scored 8 or 9, reproduced in an entirely arbitrary order.

Ann Widdecombe
The Pope
Tony Blair
Cherie Blair
Sarah Palin
Marlo Lewis Jr.
David Cameron
All future re-incarnations of David Cameron
The Pope again
George Bush (obviously)
Charles Moore
Ebeneezer Scrooge
Ebeneezer Goode
Piers Morgan
Most of the staff at the Daily Mail and Daily Express
Quite a lot of the staff at the Sun (but certainly not Kelly, 19, from Brighton)

These results won't surprise many people.

Ranked 1 or 2 (Sound or Safe) were only three people:

Dr Evan Harris
The ghost of Sir Ludovic Kennedy

Christopher Hitchens was rated pixie, which is street slang for 'no strong opinions one way or the other'. In fact, there were very strong opinions, but the average rank was pixie.

No-one was ranked drongo, possibly because no-one was really sure what it meant. General opinion was that it was worse than nimrod, but not as bad as toss-pot.

This results of this study will be published in full in the journal Nature under the title :

Methylphenidate facilitates learning-induced amygdala plasticity

(or something similar, or entirely unrelated, or not published at all)

Apologies to
Kay M Tye, Lynne D Tye, Jackson J Cone, Evelien F Hekkelman, Patricia H Janak & Antonello Bonci