Tuesday 5 May 2009

Snoop Dogg recalls the time he met Doctor Pon

Transcript of an interview between Snoop Dogg and an unnamed interviewer

Snoop Dogg:
Yeah, that's right. Big Snoop Dogg all up in this interview man. Keeping it real with my man Doctor Pon. Shout out to my boys in Brooklyn, shout out to my crews in Cali (continues for 10 minutes - Ed)

So one day, way back in the day maybe 15 - 20 years ago, I see this white dude walking 'round my hood. I'm think ' Man, what's a white dude doing walking 'round my hood?" but you know big Snoop Dogg, he got time for all you mutha f**kas, so I said "Yo mutha f**ka, you want some of my crack?" And you know what he said? "No sir, I'm not gay"
Mutha f**ka, speaking like the goddam King of England or some sh*t. I said "No, mutha f**ka, I ain't talking about no ass crack, I be talking about crack crack"

But he didn't want no crack, fo' shizzle. He started talking all this crazy sh*t, making all this noise (probably English - Ed), talking real fast, and this car went by, stereo on real loud. So I'm hearing all this music, and all these words, and I thought "Yeah, I gotta record this shit".
About a week later, I traded my crack for a microphone, and started making all this noise, and sold records and broke records man. Now I'm a mutha-f**kin' millionaire.

And you dig my threads? That Doctor Pon G made me hip to this style. One day me and the Doctor were just chillin on the corner with a forty, when the mutha-f**kin sky starts making all this rain sh*t appear, well Doctor Pon, he dry because he's half duck or some sh*t, but my clothes all wet through. So the Doctor told me that he got some spare clothes in his car, but they really big 'cus Doctor Pon, he got to be like 3 metres tall or some sh*t, so they really baggy on me. But these ho's say my clothes look good. So I made Doctor Pon my adviser for clothes and sh*t. Check this out, I give him the job title of "Head G Nizzle". That's right man. He be the realest.
I ain't be rained on since, because I always carry an umbrella

Interviewer:
Why?

Snoop Dogg:
Fo' the drizzle.

You know the moon landing? It was Doctor Pon man. He knows all about that space sh*t. Flying machines and rockets, man that brother's crazy.
He discovered the sun.

Interviewer:
Yes. Well... Thank you very much for your time.

Snoop Dogg:
You know me. 'Sup.

Actually, now that your recording equipment is off, I'd like to apologise for all of the profanity that I used throughout the interview, it's just, that's what my fans expect. In fact it's very difficult to express myself eloquently in that limited style, but that's what has made me rich. I can't bite the hand that feeds me.

Interviewer:
Actually, it's still recording

Snoop Dogg:
Yeah, yeah, Snoop Dogg's just jokin' for the mutha-f**kin' lstener. Talkin' all the proper English sh*t. I ought to pop an ass in your cap. I mean cap in your ass.

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