Who is Doctor Pon?

Doctor Pon has received literally one e-mail recently.

It was from a Nigerian prince, who due to some back luck, has had to transfer millions of dollars away from his home country to an overseas account.

Doctor Pon was carefully chosen and found to be a trustworthy friend of this prince, and so the prince is going to to give the money to Doctor Pon, but only to look after, and then give Doctor Pon 20% of his riches once he is safe! All the prince needs is Doctor Pon's account details, mother's maiden name and home address, plus credit card number and signature.

But Doctor Pon is no fool. He thought this could be a scam, and did his research.
He wrote an e-mail to the prince, asking "Is this a scam?".
The prince replied "Of course not, Jeremy, my trusted friend".
So now Doctor Pon is waiting to recieve millions.

By while waiting Doctor Pon thought that perhaps people would like to learn more about him. Perhaps they wouldn't, but Doctor Pon hasn't considered that.

Doctor Pon's real name is obviously not Doctor Pon.

Doctor is a title, not a name.

However, Doctor Pon did hear a story about an army couple whose surname was Perkins. They named their child Major.

He followed the family tradition and joined the army, hoping to be promoted up to Sergeant, thus Sergeant Major Perkins. However, he was a rubbish soldier, and after 22 years in the army, left as Lance-corporal.

Doctor Pon also heard a story about another couple whose surname was Andmechanicalengineers. They named their son Theroyalregimentofelectrical. He became a dentist.

Pon is Doctor Pon's first name and surname, because he's Indonesian, or if not Indonesian, he comes from somewhere where people use only one name. Maybe Vatican city?

The title of Doctor was awarded to him upon completion of the course of Keeping it real studies, from the University of Bolloxville, somewhere in America.

Doctor Pon learnt by post, because it was long before e-mail had been invented, way back in 2006.

The course cost $30 and his doctorate is certified as genuine by bad boy colleges for gangstaaaaas worldwide, recognised and acredited by the Federation of G Universites.

As well as becoming a doctor, the university gave him permission to big up his status for the next 20 years.

Doctor Pon also used to put MBE and KGB after his name, until he recieved a polite but firm letter from the British government, and a threat from a hard-looking Russian guy.

Doctor Pon has three sons:
Pon Pon (64),
Pon Pon Pon (24),
and Dave (3 months).


P.S. A prize for anyone who works out the pattern of line spacing in this document.
Suggestions in the comments box, unless you're scared.