Doctor Pon vs Bear Grylls

Outdoor survival-expertist man Bear Grylls is no more a bear than I am a doctor.

Therefore, Doctor Pon hereby challenges Bear Grylls to a fight.

Should Mr Bear agree, he will be given two cats, a piece of string, three shoes and a tin opener. He will then be given ten minutes to make a weapon out of these things.
Doctor Pon does not need any such tools, and will be armed only with a lion (or tiger if a lion is unavailable) and a team of hired thugs.

The fight will take place in a secret location on a secret date. Bear must use his skills to find out when and where, if he fails to do so then Doctor Pon is automatically the winner.

Also if Bear doesn't respond to this challenge, then that means Doctor Pon wins as well.

Finally, if Bear wins the fight, then he can claim, and use, the following title before his name:
"I am a real", and legally he must be addressed using his title and name by all who meet him.

If he loses, he must make doctor Pon a cup of tea WITHOUT USING TEABAGS (or a cup, unless it's real china).

So, Mr Grizzly, there's your challenge, Doctor Pon is waiting for your answer...